I can only guess what our cats are thinking when we do the things we do - and the guesses aren't good: "Don't go putting on new skin on our account." "Yeah, just be yourself. Like us." "Yeah, and then lick your butt." "Yeah, like us." "There you go shedding your skin again." "Talk about over-dramatic." "Who does that?" "Why you subject yourself to spraying water on yourself every day is beyond me." "Yeah, just lick yourself. Or each other. It works for us." "Yeah, and then lick your butt." "Yeah." "Why you poopin' in that?" "Yeah, poop in this. Then cover it. Or don't cover it." "Yeah, then, well, lick your butt." "Yeah." "Why are you putting all that food in the fridge?" "Yeah. And when are you going to teach us how to open the num-num cans?" "Yeah. As soon as you do, you will be of no use to us." "Yeah. But, we'll keep you around. Just to amuse us." "Yeah, while we're licking our butts." "Yeah. Like so..." "Why do you stare at that box all the time? Or that box? When you could be playing with this perfectly good fake mouse?" "Wait a minute. Is this mouse fake?" "Yes." "Are you serious? My whole life has been a charade." "Cheer up. At least you haven't spent your whole life staring at a box." "Yeah. Or not licking my butt." "Yeah. Talk about uncivilized."
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