mt headed thing: Can't Hardly Wait For Show-Me State Child-Brides!

50 Missouri Lawmakers Voted Ooooh-Yeah! Sign me up! on rustling up a shiny new child-bride next time you're Missouri way! Call it another reason to come to Branson! Yee-haw! It's Missouri's way of giving all you 50-year-old men with an eye on a certain 12-year-old girl a glimmer of hope, that maybe next year will be the year you can finally make that certain someone an honest young lady. That is, if you still think 13 constitutes a young lady and not a dried-up old hag. I mean, who wants that? Ew. Can I get a witness, Jerry Lee? Missouri; the Bible Belt, puppy mills, crystal-meth, and Branson. And now, soon to come, back by popular demand, child-brides! (In response to River Front Times Article Posted By Danny Wicentowski on Tue, Feb 20, 2018Find more MT Headed Things like this here.

mt headed things: Nobody Told Me This Job Would Require Me To Be Human!

Photo of Trump's cheat sheet to get him through the "listening" session with high school students and teachers in the State Dining Room of the White House in Washington, Wednesday, Feb. 21, 2018. (AP Photo/Carolyn Kaster) And here are additional (likely) notes on the other side: 6. Whatever you do, don't look bored. This stuff really seems to mean something to these people. 7. Appear less orange. 8. Remember to feed the chinchilla on my head. 9. Remember not to rate grieving mothers and hot survivors on a scale from 1 to 10. 10. Remember to push for arming teachers - imagine that government contract! Lots of money for the NRA and that means lots of money for me. Yay. Me. Always me. Me. Me. Me. Me. Me. Me.

mt headed thing: My Right To End Lives In An Instant For Coffee

Ah, just buy some guns and join in! Yay! We need to be able to kill everyone around us in an instant. It's important to us! Don't take away my right to end peoples' lives literally with a flick of a switch if I so choose just because they're taking too long to order at Starbucks. I need that. For my own security. Just in case I'm the one taking too long to order at Starbucks one day. Amen! I'll give you my coffee when you pry it out of my cold dead, but still quite warmed (by the coffee) hands!

mt headed thing: Go USA!

Sometimes I remember the Olympics are going on. So, instead of watching the usual ESPN, FS1 or CNN, I look for the Olympics. Then, I don't find them. Then, I remember I don't really care. Especially not enough to do a search to see what channel they may be on. And that is the extent of my Olympics watching. Go USA!

mt headed thing: How's That For Romance?

If you're a woman and you like a guy to take control or even be a tad aggressive, well, you might have missed your window. You might even say time's up. After this story, I'm starting to think dates are going to have to be done differently. With a long pre-date contract stating what is to be expected, and what's contingent on what. And with witnesses. We can't rely on ourselves to interpret each others signals. I mean, we're only consenting adults, here. What do we know? The stakes are too high. The margin for error is too great. So, say goodbye to spontaneity, or nature taking its course, and say hello to a clear and concise pre- or maybe mid-date contract presented by the woman, or the woman's designated witness, to be followed strictly by the man, in accordance with the man's designated witness, to ensure that both parties are of sound mind and body and ready to proceed. How's that for romance? Find more MT Headed Things like this here.

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