mt headed thing: What Our Cats Are Thinking

I can only guess what our cats are thinking when we do the things we do - and the guesses aren't good: "Don't go putting on new skin on our account." "Yeah, just be yourself. Like us." "Yeah, and then lick your butt." "Yeah, like us." "There you go shedding your skin again." "Talk about over-dramatic." "Who does that?" "Why you subject yourself to spraying water on yourself every day is beyond me." "Yeah, just lick yourself. Or each other. It works for us." "Yeah, and then lick your butt." "Yeah." "Why you poopin' in that?" "Yeah, poop in this. Then cover it. Or don't cover it." "Yeah, then, well, lick your butt." "Yeah." "Why are you putting all that food in the fridge?" "Yeah. And when are you going to teach us how to open the num-num cans?" "Yeah. As soon as you do, you will be of no use to us." "Yeah. But, we'll keep you around. Just to amuse us." "Yeah, while we're licking our butts." "Yeah. Like so..." "Why do you stare at that box all the time? Or that box? When you could be playing with this perfectly good fake mouse?" "Wait a minute. Is this mouse fake?" "Yes." "Are you serious? My whole life has been a charade." "Cheer up. At least you haven't spent your whole life staring at a box." "Yeah. Or not licking my butt." "Yeah. Talk about uncivilized."

mt headed thing: Can't Hardly Wait For Show-Me State Child-Brides!

50 Missouri Lawmakers Voted Ooooh-Yeah! Sign me up! on rustling up a shiny new child-bride next time you're Missouri way! Call it another reason to come to Branson! Yee-haw! It's Missouri's way of giving all you 50-year-old men with an eye on a certain 12-year-old girl a glimmer of hope, that maybe next year will be the year you can finally make that certain someone an honest young lady. That is, if you still think 13 constitutes a young lady and not a dried-up old hag. I mean, who wants that? Ew. Can I get a witness, Jerry Lee? Missouri; the Bible Belt, puppy mills, crystal-meth, and Branson. And now, soon to come, back by popular demand, child-brides! (In response to River Front Times Article Posted By Danny Wicentowski on Tue, Feb 20, 2018Find more MT Headed Things like this here.

mt headed things: Nobody Told Me This Job Would Require Me To Be Human!

Photo of Trump's cheat sheet to get him through the "listening" session with high school students and teachers in the State Dining Room of the White House in Washington, Wednesday, Feb. 21, 2018. (AP Photo/Carolyn Kaster) And here are additional (likely) notes on the other side: 6. Whatever you do, don't look bored. This stuff really seems to mean something to these people. 7. Appear less orange. 8. Remember to feed the chinchilla on my head. 9. Remember not to rate grieving mothers and hot survivors on a scale from 1 to 10. 10. Remember to push for arming teachers - imagine that government contract! Lots of money for the NRA and that means lots of money for me. Yay. Me. Always me. Me. Me. Me. Me. Me. Me.

mt headed thing: My Right To End Lives In An Instant For Coffee

Ah, just buy some guns and join in! Yay! We need to be able to kill everyone around us in an instant. It's important to us! Don't take away my right to end peoples' lives literally with a flick of a switch if I so choose just because they're taking too long to order at Starbucks. I need that. For my own security. Just in case I'm the one taking too long to order at Starbucks one day. Amen! I'll give you my coffee when you pry it out of my cold dead, but still quite warmed (by the coffee) hands!

mt headed thing: Go USA!

Sometimes I remember the Olympics are going on. So, instead of watching the usual ESPN, FS1 or CNN, I look for the Olympics. Then, I don't find them. Then, I remember I don't really care. Especially not enough to do a search to see what channel they may be on. And that is the extent of my Olympics watching. Go USA!

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